Four more shots please So, how was your appointment with Dr.
Drools? Okay, so I was lying there with my legs wide apart.
And ooo! Woah that’s cold Is that the clamp? or is it hisunusually long fingers? And then, he told me- What? Ya? -to take a bath three times a day.
Wait, what? With him right? Like can I come too? Umang, you always take things in another direction I’m Umang.
I’m a trainer, Bisexual.
Looking for adventure.
A lawyer, a single mother, and my vagina, Just refuses to cum? I’m Damini.
Super smart, super successful.
I also masturbate pretty often.
Much more efficient than sex.
I’m a virgin.
I want to get married to apure vegetarian Gujarati boy, but I love non-veg.
Hey bartender! Four shots please.
To freedom! F***ing crazy drunk girls.
Jeh! What?! Oh my God Hold on hold on! I said crazy drunk girls are the best! Big hearts and big bills.
Boris started censoring my stories.
Apologies and retraction.
Nothing else sticks.
And where are our readers? Our audience doesn’t want toread these heavy exposes.
But this isn’t some advertising agency.
We are a news site.
We go after thetruth not the audience.
We are going to go all out, with the kind of journalismInvestigator.
com is known for, Bold, shocking, ballsy f***ing news stories! Sneha’s put me back on the keto diet I told you you’ve put on weight Siddhi.
What is this? And all your friends, are size zero.
I’m also size zero, except there’s aone in front of it.
You know the kind of competitionthere is in Mumbai? The boy has to fall in love with her.
Ouu! what the f***? Use this oh my god no! You want me to put this on my face? It’s not used.
There’s a Kavya.
Varun is apparently very serious about her.
Wow baby, that’s beautiful! Okay, so this is mumma? Dada? Arya? and Kavya aunty.
She’s dada’s friend Tearing this family apart oncewasn’t enough for you? You are the one who’s f***ingmoving on okay, making a happy family andhome sweet home and all that f***ing bullshit! So you move on too.
I’ll f***ing show you whatmoving on is a**hole.
I yelled at the Samara Kapoor inthe gym today, and then I kept saying sorry, it’s fine it’s fine like It’s some new Punjabi pop track.
She’s my childhood crush, like I love her! She’s easygoing, she’s pretty, she’s hot! Hi.
Now you just.
just have faith in yourself andyou’ll see it’s just going to be absolutely- Did you.
smoke up before coming here? No.
What a shitty week man! What a shitty week man.
I’m from Haryana.
Hot blooded, That’s it? Session’s over? Oh my God! Die you jerk! Go die somewhere! Bloody sisterf***er! Umang? There’s CCTV footage! They could sue us for wilfully harming a person! Please RTGS my this month’s salary I quit.
You’re beginning to worry me now.
Don’t be worried sweetheart.
I’m just an overworked single momwho’s ex husband doesn’t contribute a single penny, who till now thinks he’s 20 years old, and has a new girlfriend every six months.
So I’m really sorry if I decided to relievemyself of some of the stress.
Gossip? That’s what the public wants Damini, it’s what bring the hits.
Work with Akansha.
Double espresso kind of day? Back off, back the fuck off! This is my news site, built by me onmy reputation Amma.
This is not your news site.
If you don’t get married, then what do you have Siddhi? Do you even love me? Why are you so ‘hush hush’ when saying vagina? I mean, just say it it’s- VAGINA!!! Happy bithday weekend Damini! Surprise! Oh my God, you gorgeous idiot Guys he’s Arjun, he’s my intern.
Ohh just like that movie That one, the the.
The Proposal!! A hot young intern, older female boss What? He murders her cause she’sa horrible boss? No no actually, they sleep together! Hey! What the f*** ya? Siddhi Piddhi? Mihhu Pihhu? Ohh f**k what a small world man? Hi! Hi hi! You’ve just arrived? Ya.
The food is over there so help yourself.
You know what I met someone, we kind of hit it off so what’s the problem? Ms.
Menon, the problem is you knowwhat you want, but you don’t know what you need.
When you were eight years old, Yeah? I remember you were obsessed with water.
You remember that Holi? When you did this! Siddhi These pills are f***ing with my head Nope.
It’s actually me.
You’re a goddess.
Happy birthday! Siddhi Patel, can you come up and join me? Siddhi piddhi, will you marry me? Congrats Welcome to the family Thank you Hey Kavya, all okay? I’ll be back, I’m taking her to the hospital.
And I’ll book the cab for you okay? I don’t have time Kavya, I have to take her to the hospital now.
Samara! Ma’am! Samara!So who is this mystery lover? Please stop calling me.
Don’t ever call me again.
I feel good with you, I feel better than goodI feel f***ing great and.
All I’m trying to say is that I want tomake this work, I really f***ing do, okay? Ever since I first saw ‘babygirl’ on that site, I’ve been waiting for a chance to meet her.
You are sick! You take your clothes off infront of seniors right? You bloody prostitute.
Break off your engagement to Mihir.
Arya please stay awake please stay awake! Arya?.