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by srakute
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Major news that is shaking upthe art world.

For a century, the Mona Lisahas been considered one of the most importantpaintings of all time, but now we’re learningit may only be half as special as we thought.

There is only one Mona Lisa, right? Well, maybe not.

This morning, what might be another Mona Lisa.

If it turns out to bea real Mona Lisa, it could be worthhalf a billion dollars.

This controversialother portrait, so similar to Leonardoda Vinci’s masterpiece, has long sparkedintense debate.

Is it just a copyor an earlier version finished by da Vinci himself? JEAN-PIERRE ISBOUTS:The minute I saw this work, I was really blown away.

It took me five minutes, and I was convinced.

Uh, it took you five minutesand you were convinced? Maybe take ten minutes or 15before you shake history? What’s your rush? Like, maybe if you’d takenmore than five minutes, you might have noticedthat the new Mona Lisa is wearing AirPods, huh? Because you realize, if it’s true, this story is huge.

Two Mona Lisas– Mona Lises– Mona Lisi.



However you say it, this is huge, because it meansthat people in the 16th century treated paintings the same waywe treat Instagram today.


Just like, “No, paint it again.

“I blinked.

“Also, my smile is weirdon that one.

“I can’t tellif I’m smiling or not.

” “I don’t even see it.

“I feel like this pictureneeds a filter.

Let’s go to Valencia.

” Oh, and speakingof earth-shattering news, global warming.

Every daywe move closer and closer to an all-out climate emergency.

And if you’re worriedthat world leaders aren’t up to the challenge, well, you’re right.

A dire warning about the future after the United Nations climatetalks come to an end in Madrid.

There’s very little action, even though evidenceof climate change is all around.

REPORTER: The world struggledto respond to the crisis at a U.


climate summitin Madrid.

We are a little confused about what documentsare being discussed.

We’re startingto get a little lost.

-Uh, we are kind of lost.





These are the warning signsour climate is in trouble.

200-foot flames this weekend raced acrossthe Australian Outback.

In Sydney, the smoke is so bad, it’s like smoking32 cigarettes a day.

Greenland is losing iceseven times faster than it was in the ’90s.

The warnings are there, but who is listening? Are you shitting me? The world is falling apart, and leaders at the U.


couldn’t agree on what to do? (French accent): “Yeah, wedon’t know where the papers are.

I’m sorry, we-we’re a little confused.

” You know what, from now on, climate meetings shouldn’t bein a comfy conference room.

They should be heldon a melting glacier.

That’s where it should be.

Get these peoplesome motivation.

-That’s what that should be.

-(cheering and applause) You’ll figure that shit out.

And, you know, as much as we’re disappointed at how slow our leaders areto act, I think it’s moviesthat we should blame for making us think that leadersare decisive in the first place.

‘Cause, like, you watchArmageddon, and it’s like, “Sir, an asteroidis headed to Earth.

” And it’s like, “All right, get me Bruce Willis “and the guy who’s not goodat being Batman.

Come on, let’s go!” But if, like, Armageddonhappened in real life, it would be like, “Sir, an asteroid is coming to Earth.

” It would be like, “Okay, wait, are we calling it “an asteroid or a comet? Let’s convene a panelto discuss terminology, okay?” “We don’t need a panel–we need a committee!” “Wait, is it a committeeor a panel? I’m lost.

” But we can’t keep delayingaction.

This is serious.

The Earth is getting hotter, the oceans are getting hotter, Kumail Nanjianiis getting hotter.

We have to stop this madness.

All right, and, finally, some entertainment news.

Amazon is producinga Lord of the Rings TV show, and if you think you don’t havethe looks for Hollywood, this casting callmight change your mind.

If you are hairy, toothless, extremely tall, extremely short, you could be an extra in the newLord of the Rings series.

The new Amazon show is based on the mythical landof Middle-earth and begins productionin New Zealand next year.

An ad from one of the twolocal talent agencies helping with the search saidit was looking for people with, among other things, missing teeth and wonderful noses.


Missing teethand wonderful noses.

Sounds less likea casting decision and more liketheir makeup artist quit.


Now they’re just like, “All right, anybody, uh, “that we gonna cast has to comealready ugly, all right? We gonna do this?” And, by the way, I know they saythat this is for the show, but this might just be a trapfor tricking people into workingin Amazon’s warehouses.


You’ll be there, like, “I’m here for the audition.

” They’re like, “All right, take that PlayStation, “put it in a box.

Just keep doing that.

Do it again and againand again.

” “What does this have to dowith Lord of the Rings?” “Yeah, they-they’re doingPlayStations now.

It’s a thing.

” So if you thinkyou can play an orc or a dwarf or a hobbit, you can hit Amazon up.

But if you were lookingto play Sméagol, bad news: they already gavethat part to Rudy Giuliani.



-(gasping, applause) He’s got it.

He’s got it already.

And that’s-that’s really gonnamess the story up, right? ‘Cause he’s gonna be inthe story in Lord of the Rings.

They’re gonna be like, “We’re going to Mordor to find the ring.

“And he’ll be like, “And dirt on Joe Biden!”.

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